How to Stop Yo-Yo Dieting: How I Broke the Diet-Then-Binge Cycle
The short answer: For me, the way out of yo-yo dieting was to stop going on diets at all. Every strict diet I started ended in a binge, because there was always an "after" to come off of. What broke the loop was deciding I was a healthy person, making one small change at a time, and treating a bad meal as just one meal. Over the years, that took me from 258 pounds to the 184 I weigh today.
What does yo-yo dieting actually feel like?
If you've lived it, you know. Here's how it went for me.
At 24, I weighed 258 pounds. I went on several diets. No bread, no pasta, no pop, no sweets. Each one lasted only a few days.
Then my willpower would hit its limit. And it never ended with one cookie. It ended with everything. I'd eat like I was making up for lost time. Afterward I felt frustrated and terrible, and I went right back to being the person I believed I was.
Several diets. Each one lasted only days. Each one ended the same way.
That's yo-yo dieting: you lose a little on a diet, gain it back when the diet ends, and start over. For me it was restrict, binge, feel bad, restrict again.
Why does a diet so often end in a binge?
I'm not a doctor, so I won't give you the science. I can tell you what I noticed in myself.
A diet has a finish line. Even when I didn't set an end date, part of me knew this wasn't forever. So the whole time, I was waiting. And when you're waiting for something to end, the end eventually comes.
A diet turns food into forbidden fruit. The moment I banned bread, bread was all I could think about. When the diet broke, I binged on everything I'd banned.
A diet makes one slip feel like total failure. If the rule is "no sweets" and you eat one, the rule is broken. On a diet, broken means over. And if it's over, why not eat everything before starting again?
A diet never changed who I was. This was the big one. I was an unhealthy person taking healthy actions. When the willpower ran out, I went right back to acting like the person I believed I was.
How do you break the yo-yo dieting cycle?
Here's what worked for me, starting in the summer of 1998. It's not the only way. It's my way.
1. Stop starting diets
This sounds backwards. But the binge was always attached to a diet. No diet, nothing to come off of.
I didn't stop caring about my health. I stopped dieting. Those are two very different things. I explain more of the "what instead" in how to lose weight without dieting.
2. Decide who you are, not what you're avoiding
Instead of a list of banned foods, I made one decision: I am a healthy person.
Then I asked one question before each choice: "Would a healthy person eat this?"
That question has no finish line. You don't "come off" of being a healthy person on Friday night. It's just who you are, including on Friday night.
3. Make changes so small there's nothing to rebel against
My diets changed everything at once. That's a lot of pressure, and pressure builds until it blows.
After 1998, I changed one thing at a time. First I stopped drinking pop. When that felt normal, I dropped milk. Then the fries at lunch. Each change was small enough that I didn't feel deprived. There was no pressure building up.
4. Don't ban, decide
There's a difference between "I can't have that" and "I don't really eat that."
"I can't" is a diet word. It means you want it and something is stopping you. That's exactly the kind of tension that ends in a binge.
"I don't" is just a fact about you. I wrote about this shift in how to stop drinking soda, because pop was the first place I felt it.
Want to break the loop with a little help? The free 5-day challenge is one short email a day. No diet to come off of, no banned foods. Day 1's only task: notice one food choice you make out of habit.
Start the free 5-day challenge →
What should you do the day after a binge?
This is where the yo-yo either keeps swinging or starts to slow down.
A lot of diet thinking treats the day after a binge as a day of punishment: skip breakfast, be extra strict, start the next diet harder. For me, every diet still ended the same way, in another binge.
Here's what I'd do instead, and what I did once I stopped dieting:
- Don't compensate. No skipping meals to "make up for it." Just eat the way a healthy person eats today.
- Ask the question at your next meal. "Would a healthy person eat this?" That's all.
- Do one healthy thing right away. For me it's easy: I drink 32 ounces of water every morning and I take my daily walk. Those aren't punishments. They're just what I do, and doing them reminds me who I am.
- Talk to yourself like a friend. You'd never tell a friend they're a failure for one big meal. Don't tell yourself that either.
One meal doesn't change who you are. A healthy person who overeats at a holiday dinner is still a healthy person the next morning.
Is this different from just "trying harder"?
Yes, and I think that's the whole point.
Trying harder was my yo-yo strategy. Every new diet was one more bet on willpower. It never did, because willpower was the thing running out.
What changed in 1998 wasn't my effort. It was the order. First I decided who I was. Then the choices followed. Some of those choices were the very same ones my diets had asked for. No pop. Fewer sweets. More salad. The difference was that they finally stuck, because they matched the person making them.
If motivation is the part that keeps fading for you, I wrote about that in how to stay motivated to lose weight.
What happened when I stopped yo-yo dieting?
Over the years after 1998, I went from 258 pounds to 184, where I am today. It took years, not weeks. That's my story, not a promise. Everyone's body is different.
But the part I'm most grateful for isn't the number. It's that the swinging stopped. No more "I'll be good starting tomorrow." Just a healthy person making the next choice.
Try it free for 5 days
If you're tired of the diet-binge-restart loop, try the free 5-day challenge. One short email a day from me. You'll make the "I am a healthy person" commitment and practice one question: What would a healthy person do right now?
No diet to come off of. No banned foods.
Start the free 5-day challenge →
A note if bingeing feels out of your control
My binges came after diets, and they faded once I stopped dieting. But for some people, binge eating is something bigger. If it happens often, feels out of control, or comes with a lot of distress, please talk to your doctor or an eating-disorder professional. That's not a failure. It's exactly what a healthy person would do.
FAQ
How do I stop yo-yo dieting?
For me, it was stopping strict diets entirely. I decided I was a healthy person, asked "Would a healthy person eat this?" before each choice, and changed one thing at a time.
Why do I binge after a diet?
I can only speak for myself. My diets ran on willpower and banned foods, and when the willpower ran out, I ate everything I'd been avoiding. Without a diet to come off of, that pressure mostly went away.
What should I eat the day after a binge?
I'd just eat the way a healthy person normally eats. No skipping meals and no extra-strict rules, because punishing yourself just sets up the next diet, and for me every diet ended in a binge.
Will I gain weight if I stop dieting?
I can't promise anything about your body. For me, stopping diets and making small, lasting changes is what finally helped my weight come down and stay down, slowly.
When should I get help for binge eating?
If bingeing happens often, feels out of control, or causes you real distress, talk to your doctor or an eating-disorder professional.
I'm not a doctor; this is what worked for me. Talk to your doctor before changing your diet, especially if you have a health condition.